TURNING 30 AND SOME 53 LIFE LESSONS


Just turning 30 a week ago made me think ” What I have achieved so far after three decades.” When I was 17, in high school, being in an all girls convent, I remember having this conversation of “Siapa kahwin dulu?” It seemed quite natural then. To discuss our life fate over the most cardinal of all question ” Who is getting married first? And at what age?”  Then at 24, I thought on turning 30, I’d be married with a decent man, tend to my domestic obligations rather seriously in our perfect modest home and a kid or two running around screaming and driving me mad. After 7 years of leaving high school, I still thought that finding that one perfect person was my ultimate aim in life.

Not being shallow or anything but every now and then, love will find a way to gravitate our life and hence I thought it must be really powerful. Or.perhaps woman are just wired to think that belonging somewhere to someone and devoting our whole entire life to that person and our own little family is what we are born for and that alone would give us happiness.

Turning 30, I promised myself to try new things. This was after a paragliding session in Nepal

Now at 30, I do not own a modest decent home, I have some very little money as compared to many others out there and my beacon of hope is my 24 year old first generation Proton which I fiercely protect. I have not known the joy of marriage and motherhood yet. BUT I’m perfectly happy where I am at without achieving any of the above mentioned things which I thought would give me happiness at some point of time in my life.

Interesting enough, I seem to have found joy in standing upside down on my head or twisting myself into some weird positions. At the comfort of my own solitude. Undisturbed.

 This seems the new definition of happiness now. So simple yet profound. And amidst all of this , love is still powerful without having to achieve my ultimate “then aim” of life yet. But I arrived at that point oh so differently. I really have been wrong about many things in my life. About what I wanted. About what I thought I’d be good at. About what I thought was destined for me. About how I thought life should be fair to me.

Then growing up I realize that the reverse could be an absolute reality. I need not fit in at all, I could be my own weird thing and I was actually at peace with it.

 I have two great achievement on turning 30

  1. I would say it was firstly rocking my single hood to embrace myself fully, do things for myself and prepare myself fully for the next phase of my life. ( I had spent a lot of time being here hence naturally it became my “thing”)   I think a lot of people fail to realize the freedom of being single and the power it has to fully connect you to the person you are and the other person that you can be
  2. Living deliberately and sticking to it. Period. If I can live this way another 35 years or so, I’ll die in peace even if no one says Rest In Peace to me.

Do you know what deliberately means?

It means you set your own intentions and terms, do as you please, don’t give a rats ass about what the world thinks of you and you have found this absolute bliss in realizing that you can be the odd one out. That you can be absolutely weird in any possible way you like and take in the joy that you’ll not be disturbed by the judgement of others. Realizing that validation is not vital. That my friend, is freedom at its’ best.

Do you know why deliberation is of utmost importance?

Because the moment you hit earth, the danger of preconditioning is inevitable. Any decision you make is likely to be the result of your own perception perceived limitedly by your own 5 senses or what others think is the best for you. From here on, human interactions will put so much of pressure on you and change you.

Anyone or many ones will walk in and out your life doing as they please, treating you like you shouldn’t be treated and make you question your own self. And if you do not have your own sense of identity, you will lose it and get trapped in that cycle.

Depending on how emotionally connected you are to yourself, you may slip into a rut and take a long time to come back up.

Sometimes it might take a lifetime to figure our life’s greatest mission.

I’ll help you out.

You don’t need a lifetime. Just do this one thing.

Connect with your ownself.

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Having said all that, the past 6 years has been the best growth period of my life and I’d like to share some things with all of you. They may not be particularly life changing for everyone but it was worthy to note what came from my thoughts of ” Some things that I would want to pass on after a journey of 30 years”

ON LIFE

1. Life is really about happy, meaningful experiences and almost nothing to do with the tangibles.

2. Read good books in some quiet corners. If it can change my life,it can change yours too.  Subconsciously and then consciously.

3. Life is not at all fair but if you practice gratitude, you’ll enjoy it.

4. You must have a passion for something. If you don’t have it for now, start looking and don’t stop till you find it. And when you have find it, start working. And don’t stop till you die.

5. The only physically tangible thing that you came with was only one thing. Your body. It must have a higher function than the basic needs to eat, drink and procreate. Find that higher function somehow.

6. Have fun. Loads of it. In fact, this should be your life’s main aim.

7. You can be a bad-ass on yourself and a good person to others. This balance will restore your lives karma point and ego level.

8. Without any solid human relationships in your life, you’ll live and die miserably. Cultivate and nurture relationships.

9. Be very generous when you’re treating others and calculative when it comes to yourself.

10. Spirituality is a man’s basic needs.  Like money. A power you never knew that can control you so much untill you have it. Problem is we only think we need money. We must rethink.

11. Work can be your anchor if it gives you only JOY. Otherwise, treat it like it’s just another tool.

12. As you grow older, you must put effort in everything. Most importantly to find humor among many other things.

13. Stress is not normal. Stress free is the normality. We have deviated very much from this. And now have to find our way back to redefining normality.

14. The moment to do anything is now. Tomorrow, Tsunami could strike.

15. Pay attention to yourself. Especially if something makes you sad, happy or gives you pain.

16. Always practice balance. Do everything moderately. A little bit here and a tad bit there. You’ll be at your happiest self in this state and you won’t question life because everything happens the way it should be.

17. Rebooting a lot of electrical devices often always solves its initial problem. Seek for support only if rebooting fails.

18. Periodic cleaning is liberating especially if you feel your life is at a standstill. Clean anything. Your desk, your cupboard, your dekstop, phonebook. Your heart. :$ Practice the habit of less and uncluttered living. Don’t hoard what you don’t need it.

19. With whatever much money you have, try to squeeze as much adventure out of it.

20. Travelling is one of the greatest adventure.

21. Travelling alone is even better. But be safe :)

22.  When planning for a trip, overplan and then go with the flow.

23. Watch less television and get adequate sleep. 6- 8 hours is adequate.

24. The World Wide Web is a vast open universe. Tap into it.

25. At some point of time, many of your life questions will be answered though they may not be answered at the time you want them to be answered.

26. Living life in reverse makes a lot of sense.

27. Always change even if you’re not prepared for it. No one really ever is.

28. Manage your resources well. This includes your brain, limbs, body, technology, environment, relationships and almost about everything that you come in contact with.

29. Invest on things that enrich your passion and potentiality. Invest also in yourself.

ON MONEY

30. It’s just a tool, not the end of it. You must be able to pick up and discard the tool anytime.

31. Managing it is more important than creating more of it.

32. Compound interest is very powerful. Take leverage of it.

33. Read Rich Dad Poor Dad just to see how money can work for you.  Even if you don’t do anything after reading it.

34. Just one credit card is enough.

35. Pay your bills on time. All the time. ( This makes everyone happy ????

36. Value every single cent you earn. Value must mean save or invest.

ON MATTERS OF THE HEART

37. When healing with broken hearts, cry with someone for awhile then go lick your wound silently. Alone. Self healing is complete.

38. A lot of people are gonna hurt you by saying things you don’t like or behave in an absolutely barbaric manner and in the course of your life, you will  sometimes do exactly the same. Earth is round. So don’t return the same feelings with revenge. You did it to someone else too. Just remind yourself not to make others feel the same.

39. Say what you mean and do what you say. I can’t stress on this enough.

40. For a start, you’re good enough as a person.  If you feel the reverse is true, you’re not working good enough to realize that.

41. The best form of love is the kind that comes uninvited and stays accepting for as long as it lasts.

42. If you are wounded once, you must make healing a priority. Otherwise, none of your life’s pursuit or achievement will make any sense to you.

43. Have faith in your own conviction and let your feelings guide you. If your feeling tells you otherwise, don’t do it.

44. Have the courage to walk away from anything that doesn’t serve you anymore even if you’re unsure of the consequences and even if you’re dead scared.

45. The people who you love the most are the ones who will hurt you the deepest. You ought to accept this first . Then you shall practice forgiveness. Then after you must do two other things. Let go or love deeper. In its preceding order, one action will fuel another to heal you.

ON HEALTH

46. Work in reverse. It will again make a lot of sense. And no, health insurance premium is not a form of exercise.

47. Slow down and relax.

48. Be still and get to know the bliss of it.

49. If you don’t know how, try yoga :) I give classes ????

ON EARTH

50. All your wealth accumulation in this world is pointless if you don’t have a ground to stand on. Respect and take good care of Mother Earth.

51. Love Earth and always choose her over shopping malls ????

ON LIFE AGAIN

52.Travel through time and grow old for a moment. Then go back to live that life you just pictured in your mind. That would be a life best lived.

53. No one can say it is ever fair but if you practice gratitude and don’t take things personally, you’ll do fine.

Thank you reading this far :)

Please share it around.

Label: Milestones   Reflection

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